From Curious Creating to Perfect Happiness

Do you ever just get the desire to create?! Today I just felt an urge to sit down and write, to perform a beautiful tune on the piano, or to even belt a musical melody.  I decided that since these urges don’t come often, I should fulfill my need.  I grabbed my performance books and started playing on the piano downstairs in the basement.  These were my thoughts as I played:

Yay! Let’s play my go-to song—Schumann’s “About Strange Lands and People”

Definitely thought I had all of THAT song memorized…

Ok, let’s try something new…Downton Abbey theme song…always wanted to memorize that…

Ok looks like I WON’T be memorizing that song…last three pages are waaay too hard

I clearly don’t have the motivation to work hard at this song

Ok let’s do some Beethoven

Wow, I thought I was better at this..

Must be this piano…this petal sucks

Ok let’s play some musicals and sing along

Who’s idea was it to sing?!

I’m going to pretend that I don’t know that people can hear me singing…

Hey, my voice actually sound pretty good!

That was definitely a joke.

I love playing the piano, yet it seems that every time I try, I disappoint myself.  If only I practiced more, maybe I could be as good as other people I know.  Where did nine years of lessons go?  I feel like I should definitely be better than I am now.  Not gonna lie, I wish I could sing well, too.  I was always jealous of those who could sit down at the piano and sing along to their melodious tunes.  Music is such a major part in my life—it’s so powerful, and I have definitely had spiritual experience listening to many different types of music. 

Writing, also.  I’ve always secretly wanted to be a writer, but I had to choose between good, better, and best, and writing was always in the “good” category.  Tonight I went back and read some of the things I had written last year.  I laughed at my romantic scenes I had written, but also longed to write more.  What ever happened to the characters I had imagined?  Their stories were never resolved. 

Why is it that these talents I so desire, I don’t have or don’t have time to develop?  Didn’t the Lord say develop your talents?  What exactly are my talents?  My mother often tells me that many of my inner talents come from inside, which I love, but I can’t help feeling some jealousy when I hear someone belting out “Think of Me” from Phantom without any pitch problems.  (Side note: I love musicals.  Since I can’t sing, act, or dance, I’ve decided to be a theater patron.  Every musical needs an audience.) 

Tonight I immediately thought of President Dieter F. Uchtdorf’s talk “Happiness, Your Heritage.”  Because he can explain it much better than I can, I shall simply quote my favorite parts from this talk.  He starts out by saying that he will address those who have ever felt inadequate, discouraged, or weary, which are certainly feelings I have experienced.

• You might say, “I’m not the creative type. When I sing, I’m always half a tone above or below the note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or as a doorstop.”
• If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next. 
• You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us. The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.  What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.  If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.
• The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come.

I think one of my favorite parts is when President Uchtdorf says that creation means to bring into existence something that did not exist before, like flowing laughter.  I love to laugh.  The apostles have often counseled us to keep a sense of humor.  We’re here on earth to have joy!  I experience joy by strengthening my relationship with Heavenly Father, but also through pure laughter.   

I also like how he said that what we create doesn’t have to be perfect.  I am always so worried about being perfect and making sure something is exactly the way I want it.  I am trying to teach myself that things will almost never turn out perfect. 

President Uchtdorf continues his talk by talking about compassion.  I thought it was interesting how he paired up creation and compassion.  Compassion can be a form of creation.  He quotes the author of Peter Pan, James Barrie, who said, “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.”

I love President Uchtdorf’s message.  He has reminded me that my ways of creation don’t have to be like everyone else’s ways.  I can write and muse about my world, which is creation.  I can help someone smile, write a kind note, or even compliment others.  Perfecting the art of third wheeling?  That is definitely creation.  (I never knew until this year what tips and tricks I had up my sleeve.)  What about creating a new outfit with ideas from Pinterest?  Definitely creation.  Saying a new joke, making others laugh (actually, probably just making myself laugh…not everyone agrees that I’m freaking hilarious), making up my own funny puns.  There are so many ways to create, and I will definitely be better at some ways than others.  Many of my talents that I create may not be clearly evident to others, but President Uchtdorf tells us that happiness is our heritage!  “Creating and being compassionate are two objectives that contribute to our Heavenly Father’s perfect happiness. Creating and being compassionate are two activities that we as His spirit children can and should emulate.”